Coffee With ChrissyInspire
Let age not weary them
Were you attractive when you were young?
That question was asked of me by a young girl behind the counter of a takeaway shop, where I was sitting waiting to speak to her boss about a business matter. I noticed that she'd been glancing at me in between serving customers and when it was her break time, the question she asked me hit me like a splash of cold water.
My first reaction was disbelief ... did I hear right, was she talking to me? I was gob-smacked! What else could I do but burst into laughter, as after all it was very funny. Sensing my embarrassment, she tried to smooth things over by saying, "Well, I mean you look very nice now, but I thought you might have been really attractive when you were young".
Well, that did very little to ease the pain. Couldn't she see the young girl who was still inside? Life had gone by so quickly. It just seemed too soon to be arriving at this place called "old" to anyone 25 years and under. I was in my mid forties at the time and actually I thought I looked pretty good. I was slim, I still fitted into a size 10 and I enjoyed telling people how old I was, as more often than not I received comments like, "Wow, you certainly don't look it"... "You look so young" … "And you're a grandmother too!"
We go to great lengths to hold onto our good looks and youthful appearance, don't we? There must be everything on the market imaginable that helps us do this. If we can put off the wrinkles, age spots and sagging muscles then let's do it and believe me I do like to indulge. But how do we cope when the inevitable starts to happen? How do we handle it when we are condescendingly referred to as "young lady" by the man behind the counter in a shop somewhere? Do we wink and smile at him or do we frown and offer to clean his glasses? What about giving our birthdate over the phone to a young operator, as proof of identity. "Full name and date of birth, please ma'am" "Susan Murphy - born 26th May, 1949, and yes I am a dinosaur," is what I'd really like to say. I don't know about you, but I hesitate sometimes when asked my age.
This hesitation, this shame of age seems a common thing. If you walk into a card shop, you'll find stacks of birthday cards all aimed at making fun of anyone 40 and over. Why do we girls find it hard to handle the birthday numbers? Why do I find it hard to handle them? It's been said that in certain societies, old is honourable, beautiful and valuable.
So why don't we apply these adjectives to ourselves? I'll always remember that young girl in the takeaway shop and her question that day, as she sent me on a search, a search for something more than what physical beauty and youthfulness has to offer. There were times of much grieving and feeling sorry for myself whilst searching, but I've come to realise that as we have to work harder at exercising our bodies in mid life, we also need to work just as hard at making our inner person look and feel good.
I'd really like to applaud Caron Chandler Loveless for her terrific little book Honey They Shrunk My Hormones. The book is full of quotes and thoughts from women who have lived in the trenches of mid life and have come through. Let me share some with you that have helped me:
"I try not to focus on my physical self as much; I try to look past the exterior. In fact, I find myself much happier when I keep the focus off myself and put it more on others". JUNE 59 YEARS
"I wasn't prepared for mid life. I didn't read or prepare mentally for personal and family changes. But I like my age now. I feel I've experienced a number of things like travel, education and faith - that keep me looking forward and moving ahead". MARYLOU 51 YEARS
"I'm more secure and stronger about my opinions now, which is an adjustment for my husband. It doesn't really matter what people think of me. I have a goal to age gracefully and be an example to younger women who fight the physical aspects of ageing". SUZIE 52 YEARS
The abbreviation HRT stand for: - Handsome research technician - Humour replacement therapy - Hoping for a reduction in temperature.
This one is my strength, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to
plant and a time to uproot, a time to tear down and a time build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to keep and time to throw away, a time to be silent and a time to speak… God has made everything beautiful
in its time."
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-7, 11
Enjoy your journey.
Written by Susan Murphy
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